R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
