i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
