The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
