she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
