She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
