Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
