there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
