Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
