just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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