good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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