Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
