it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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