My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
