"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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