Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
