bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
