Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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