Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
