my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
