I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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