he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
