You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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