If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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