She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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