You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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