like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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