it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
