she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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