i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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