Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
