Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
