I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
