im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
