I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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