and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
