So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
