drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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