Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
