I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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