in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
