you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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