A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
