I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
