Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
