Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
