I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
