what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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