he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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