We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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