you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
