btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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