i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
