Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
